Dear readers,
im angry.
I am not your typical Muslim. The difference between me and many other Muslims (including close family) is that i actually prioritize understanding the concept of God before interpreting any part of any other religion.
The Concept of God:
*He Judges, Not I.
*He gives me choice, I choose from what He has allowed me.
*Our relationship is between us and only us.
*I make mistakes, i make my decisions, He loves me for who i am...with all of my human faults.
*He, and only He, knows that i am a good person. I do not have to prove myself for anyone else.
*He, and only He, knows im human, and he loves me for my humanity, not my endless pursuit of perfection and self proof. -- what i mean my self proof is when people tend to endlessly live their lives to prove themselves for someone else, which in turn makes their lives empty. They will never know the joy of the smallest things in life, because their joys are connected with the news, fashion, ideologies of others. They are mere followers. They do not appreciate the brain He has given them, and they may not ever enjoy the souls and minds He has permitted them.
Other than many things, that is basically how i see God. This is because if i think of God as a being who has given me His job of judgement, perfection, and knowledge...then he would not be God at all.
Im extremely angry. My mother keeps calling me an atheist. Infidel. Satan. Lucifer. Communist. Haha.
This is my test and only mine.
I do not cover my hair, yet I see women with heads covered, and hearts as black as their veils.
I listen to and appreciate music, yet I meet people who have refrained from music only to substitute it with gossip.
I perceive prayer as an intimate conversation with God, as He has given me the right to talk to him whenever i want, rather than a routine set of movements which limit my communication and thanks to him.
I speak in any language i want, because i know He, and only He, will understand me no matter what language i speak in.
I believe that good people, no matter what religion they are from, will be judged fairly, because God is fair.
We all pray to the same God. No matter what race, language, ethnicity, culture, religion, ideology we come from or believe in. The only thing He wants us to do is pursue peace for others as we pursue it for ourselves.
We have been given the power to control our minds, the power to make our decisions, and the power to heal our pain. Yet we allow our minds to control us, society to make our decisions for us, and pain to turn us into monsters.
My mother. I dont blame her. She was never given the choice. She was just taught a bunch of stories, grew up a follower, and had very strict judgments about everyone and everything around her.
Please understand, dear readers...i am NOT saying that her mentality is wrong, right, just or unjust. I am just saying that she was born learning how to forget herself and judge others for her pain.
The Jews.
The Americans.
The Communists.
The books.
The secularists.
The Media.
Satan(s).
What she forgets is that all those will still bow down to Him. Each one in their own way.
there are 8 billion people of Earth
each and every one of us is unique and perfectly imperfect in the eyes of God.
Some born leaders
some born followers
some born curious
some born ignorant
all born different.
Note: I understand that its frowned upon to speak of my personal life in public, but the truth is...i couldnt care less. Because it is not until stop hiding our problems and stop covering them with other people's business, is that we start facing our own issues and hopefully start solving them rather than complaining about them.
You see i am efficient person, and wearing a mask for about 12hrs a day is simply inefficient for me.
Moving on...
However, why we decide to judge others by our own standards, i will never understand. Nevertheless, i am only human, i am not all-knowing. Additionally, i am not afraid of admitting i am human, nor am i afraid of not being all-knowing.
He has given me the right to ask questions, yet i am not afraid of not finding all the answers.
This is what humans are. This is what humans will always be. Different. Obnoxious. Beautiful. Judgmental. Unique. Hurtful. Supportive. Faulty.
What we must learn that different is good. We are all being somehow homogenized because we all seem to be afraid of whats different. And dont even get me started on how homogenization ruins society in terms of competition, diversity, productivity, efficiency, creativity, cooperation...etc.
im so angry.
God has given me anger. Good. He has also given me the power to channel my anger into something productive. However, He has also given me the choice to be productive, or else i also have the choice to just..be bitchy.
To my mother. I am damned.
Therefore,
I am the damned in distress.
What she doesnt know is that, i am not confused anymore. I know He loves me. And when he loves me. I love me. And when i love me...well, you know Adam Smith's invisible hand? it turns into a walking, talking human who is consciously and subconsciously strong, efficient, active, and productive. That human will fall many, many, many, times. gets fat. gets lazy. Still. That self-interested, imperfect, strong human keeps going.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Arabs in Portugal
Before i begin with our topic today, i would like to start with the story that inspired it.
Story:
I was sitting at lunch time in one of the little Portuguese restaurants by the Embassy (I described them in my last post) with some of my colleagues at work. I cannot mention their names, but that's not important. The more important thing is that our group consisted of a Moroccan, a Tunisian, an Egyptian, and an Emirati (me. haha). We were generally talking about the relatively small percentage of Arabs living in Portugal comparing other parts of Europe. This lead us to exchanging stories about how Arabs act when they find other Arabs in foreign countries.
So, the Egyptian decides to tell his story:
"When my wife arrived here [Portugal] about three months after i arrived, this stranger put her hand on my wife's shoulder and shouted AL SALAM ALAIKUM [May peace be upon you -- the Muslim way of saying: Hello!]. We did not even know this woman, yet she joyfully started calling her husband and the rest of the family to introduce to us. It's like they haven't seen any other Arabs for years and they felt they could immediately communicate with us as 'their own'..."
As we all laughed about the story, the Moroccan also decided to share an interesting one:
" When i started living in Portugal many years ago, i was living in a very small University City. There were literally no Arabs to be found. After a couple of years, i literally started to get depressed [in Arabic: Jaany Ehbaat! -- mostly said in a comedic manner rather than a serious one]. Then one day, i saw this young man wearing a Palestinian 'Ghutra' [scarf] around his neck, and that made me curious. Although he had a very 'European' complexion [he was white...haha] and everybody wears the Ghutra around their necks nowadays as some sort of a fashion statement, I just couldn't help my curiosity and i slowly walked next to him to listen what he was saying. The moment i overheard him speaking Arabic, i was ecstatic! I immediately went to him and said INTA ARABI [You're Arab!] Al SALAM ALAIKUM Brother!! And until today, after many years, we are very close friends."
-----
If you guys have read my past posts, you would know that i am not very fond of concepts such as patriotism or community...or anything of the sort. And to be very honest, i never felt a 'connection' to Arabs in general because i always focused on individuality. At some point, i believed in working on the self rather than the community, in contrast to most Arab mentalities where community /family is crucial. Keep in mind that i am not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing, i'm just saying that i never felt like that while living in the UAE. I don't like the idea or 'instant brotherhood'.
However, while i sat with my Arab colleagues, eating Portuguese food in a Portuguese restaurant, amongst Portuguese people (you can also substitute the word Portuguese with 'foreign' in the last sentence if u want to further understand this post), i couldn't help but feel at home.
It is very interesting to me how Arabs ....function.
For instance, even if we look at aspects that are literally ruining the MENA Region's economy, such as wasta (translated into English as Favoritism, Nepotism, or Cronyism), we still do it because of this invisible 'bond' we have. An example of this is employing someone "he is my cousin". For us, the bigger the wasta, the more connections you have...and the better opportunities u get. To us, the more wasta, the 'cooler' you are. To us, wasta, is not cronyism, as it is in most of the 'West', it's just helping a brotha out. Of course, i am not saying that this does not happen in western countries, but at least to Westerners, it's a negative thing...and its not something they show off. It's what you call...ehm...illegal.
This also reminds me of a story my economics professor once told in class -- but i can't really remember where he was in the story:
" i went into a cab once in 'country X' and the cab driver was an Arab. So, when he dropped me to the spot, i wanted to pay him but he did not allow me. He told me that 'his brother' does not have to pay for anything".
Anyways, going back to my subject, the one thing i learned today is that this 'invisible bond' between Arabs does not have anything to do with culture or religion... or wait...maybe its A BIT cultural, but not at all religion because some of the Arabs here are Christian...but i think it's mostly because of the language. It's only that one language, in all of its accents, that brings us together into this mysterious brotherhood bubble.
To tell you the truth, i think this phenomenon is pretty unique, as i haven't really seen it anywhere. I have never seen Europeans in Arab countries shouting out "OLA! Esta Portuguese!!" or "Bonjour! Vous estes Francais!!" to a stranger they barely know. Also, the thing here is, EVEN if we assume that Westerners do that, they would only 'connect' with people from their own nationalities -- i.e. Spaniards with Spaniards, French with French, Americans with Americans...and so on.
On the other hand, Arabs connect with Arabs; it doesn't really matter if you come from the Middle East, the Levant, or North Africa. It something like an exclusive club. As long as you speak some sort of Arabic, you're in. Oh by the way, this does not count if you're not born Arab. So, if you just learned how to speak Arabic, sorry...you can't get into our club. haha.
Of course, many people can argue this as the post has been written completely from personal observations, experiences and opinions...i didn't do any research and i'm completely open to arguments, disagreement and discussion. But i just had to write about this because it seemed really interesting from an 'observer's' perspective.
I never actually sat to think about this because i guess it always came naturally, and also because i haven't really 'lived' in a foreign country for a reason other than vacations.
Additionally, I think to some point, if one goes deeper into it, it can also be looked at as an Eastern think in general. South Asians with South Asians, Far Easterners with Far Easterners....etc.
I guess one only notices one's 'own' when one is far away from one's hometown.
So what do you guys think?
Story:
I was sitting at lunch time in one of the little Portuguese restaurants by the Embassy (I described them in my last post) with some of my colleagues at work. I cannot mention their names, but that's not important. The more important thing is that our group consisted of a Moroccan, a Tunisian, an Egyptian, and an Emirati (me. haha). We were generally talking about the relatively small percentage of Arabs living in Portugal comparing other parts of Europe. This lead us to exchanging stories about how Arabs act when they find other Arabs in foreign countries.
So, the Egyptian decides to tell his story:
"When my wife arrived here [Portugal] about three months after i arrived, this stranger put her hand on my wife's shoulder and shouted AL SALAM ALAIKUM [May peace be upon you -- the Muslim way of saying: Hello!]. We did not even know this woman, yet she joyfully started calling her husband and the rest of the family to introduce to us. It's like they haven't seen any other Arabs for years and they felt they could immediately communicate with us as 'their own'..."
As we all laughed about the story, the Moroccan also decided to share an interesting one:
" When i started living in Portugal many years ago, i was living in a very small University City. There were literally no Arabs to be found. After a couple of years, i literally started to get depressed [in Arabic: Jaany Ehbaat! -- mostly said in a comedic manner rather than a serious one]. Then one day, i saw this young man wearing a Palestinian 'Ghutra' [scarf] around his neck, and that made me curious. Although he had a very 'European' complexion [he was white...haha] and everybody wears the Ghutra around their necks nowadays as some sort of a fashion statement, I just couldn't help my curiosity and i slowly walked next to him to listen what he was saying. The moment i overheard him speaking Arabic, i was ecstatic! I immediately went to him and said INTA ARABI [You're Arab!] Al SALAM ALAIKUM Brother!! And until today, after many years, we are very close friends."
-----
If you guys have read my past posts, you would know that i am not very fond of concepts such as patriotism or community...or anything of the sort. And to be very honest, i never felt a 'connection' to Arabs in general because i always focused on individuality. At some point, i believed in working on the self rather than the community, in contrast to most Arab mentalities where community /family is crucial. Keep in mind that i am not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing, i'm just saying that i never felt like that while living in the UAE. I don't like the idea or 'instant brotherhood'.
However, while i sat with my Arab colleagues, eating Portuguese food in a Portuguese restaurant, amongst Portuguese people (you can also substitute the word Portuguese with 'foreign' in the last sentence if u want to further understand this post), i couldn't help but feel at home.
It is very interesting to me how Arabs ....function.
For instance, even if we look at aspects that are literally ruining the MENA Region's economy, such as wasta (translated into English as Favoritism, Nepotism, or Cronyism), we still do it because of this invisible 'bond' we have. An example of this is employing someone "he is my cousin". For us, the bigger the wasta, the more connections you have...and the better opportunities u get. To us, the more wasta, the 'cooler' you are. To us, wasta, is not cronyism, as it is in most of the 'West', it's just helping a brotha out. Of course, i am not saying that this does not happen in western countries, but at least to Westerners, it's a negative thing...and its not something they show off. It's what you call...ehm...illegal.
This also reminds me of a story my economics professor once told in class -- but i can't really remember where he was in the story:
" i went into a cab once in 'country X' and the cab driver was an Arab. So, when he dropped me to the spot, i wanted to pay him but he did not allow me. He told me that 'his brother' does not have to pay for anything".
Anyways, going back to my subject, the one thing i learned today is that this 'invisible bond' between Arabs does not have anything to do with culture or religion... or wait...maybe its A BIT cultural, but not at all religion because some of the Arabs here are Christian...but i think it's mostly because of the language. It's only that one language, in all of its accents, that brings us together into this mysterious brotherhood bubble.
To tell you the truth, i think this phenomenon is pretty unique, as i haven't really seen it anywhere. I have never seen Europeans in Arab countries shouting out "OLA! Esta Portuguese!!" or "Bonjour! Vous estes Francais!!" to a stranger they barely know. Also, the thing here is, EVEN if we assume that Westerners do that, they would only 'connect' with people from their own nationalities -- i.e. Spaniards with Spaniards, French with French, Americans with Americans...and so on.
On the other hand, Arabs connect with Arabs; it doesn't really matter if you come from the Middle East, the Levant, or North Africa. It something like an exclusive club. As long as you speak some sort of Arabic, you're in. Oh by the way, this does not count if you're not born Arab. So, if you just learned how to speak Arabic, sorry...you can't get into our club. haha.
Of course, many people can argue this as the post has been written completely from personal observations, experiences and opinions...i didn't do any research and i'm completely open to arguments, disagreement and discussion. But i just had to write about this because it seemed really interesting from an 'observer's' perspective.
I never actually sat to think about this because i guess it always came naturally, and also because i haven't really 'lived' in a foreign country for a reason other than vacations.
Additionally, I think to some point, if one goes deeper into it, it can also be looked at as an Eastern think in general. South Asians with South Asians, Far Easterners with Far Easterners....etc.
I guess one only notices one's 'own' when one is far away from one's hometown.
So what do you guys think?
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Describing A Day in Portugal
I open my eyes to a bright sun at 7:30 am. Very tired. Yet, as i stretch and deeply breathe in the scent of fresh bread in the morning...all of my 'tired-ness' just fades.
I get up, wash my face, dress for work, and kiss my mother's forehead while she sleeps soundly...and leave the apartment. I go down to the lobby to find a beautiful breakfast that includes those fresh breads i previously smelt in the morning, scrambled eggs, different types of fresh cheese, fruit salad, jams, honey and my personal favorite...their rich, buttery, moist date muffins. The food slowly melts in my mouth as i gracefully wash it down with a warm berry and caramel tea.
Later on, the car comes to pick me up and i leave for a new day at work. Of course,
work is full of surprises. I get to meet powerful people negotiating sensitive subjects between two great countries (UAE and Portugal). For a few moments, i get to watch small parts of history being made.
At my lunch break, im invited by my colleagues to this very small, very down to earth, traditional Portuguese restaurant, where there is no place to sit....literally. If you would give it a modern rating, then it would literally get ZERO stars...but that's just an elitist way of looking at it. Bastards.
I order something of the 4 or 3 homemade dishes (menu changes every day with not more than 4 choices), and stand while I wait for the food.
The old woman, who made me feel like i was home with her caring motherly expression, presents me with a plate of beautiful fish soaked in tomatoes and onions with a side of lightly salted boiled potatoes, excellently pealed and cooked perfectly...not too much...not too little. The burst of flavor was unbelievable. It was better than any 'classy' restaurant i've been to...one could tell that it was made with a lotta love.
After lunch we go out to a small kiosk in the garden right outside work, where me and my colleagues sip a quick coffee before we go back in (this is only ONE of the many cups they have in a day).
The weather was mild (about 24 Degrees). It was a perfect mixture of a cold breeze and a hot sun. Doves literally come right next to my feet looking for food. People all around me, having a drink, a laugh, a conversation...just chillin. Monuments and art galleries all surround me at a close distance.
The people of Portugal are art admirers. They are very liberal and they don't care about other people whatsoever. They are a people that respect others for who they are and they also respect different opinions in all aspects. I got all of this so far in less than a week.
After coffee, i had to leave the embassy again to attend a negotiation at the Ministry of Foreign affairs. I cannot say anything about that, but i can say that it lasted for 10 hours.
After that hectic process, i dined with these powerful people and i had the opportunity of watching them debate extremely sensitive issue while a vast array of fresh seafood was being served on our table right across the beach.
My day ends at 1 am. Hectic. I'm exhausted.
It is only beautiful days like this that make me think about how much time i have wasted, and how many opportunities have passed.
Anyways, ill try to post pictures of the restaurants and foods later on. I hope you enjoyed my description of Lisbon, Portugal. Its truly a very REAL country. I love it.
I get up, wash my face, dress for work, and kiss my mother's forehead while she sleeps soundly...and leave the apartment. I go down to the lobby to find a beautiful breakfast that includes those fresh breads i previously smelt in the morning, scrambled eggs, different types of fresh cheese, fruit salad, jams, honey and my personal favorite...their rich, buttery, moist date muffins. The food slowly melts in my mouth as i gracefully wash it down with a warm berry and caramel tea.
Later on, the car comes to pick me up and i leave for a new day at work. Of course,
work is full of surprises. I get to meet powerful people negotiating sensitive subjects between two great countries (UAE and Portugal). For a few moments, i get to watch small parts of history being made.
At my lunch break, im invited by my colleagues to this very small, very down to earth, traditional Portuguese restaurant, where there is no place to sit....literally. If you would give it a modern rating, then it would literally get ZERO stars...but that's just an elitist way of looking at it. Bastards.
I order something of the 4 or 3 homemade dishes (menu changes every day with not more than 4 choices), and stand while I wait for the food.
The old woman, who made me feel like i was home with her caring motherly expression, presents me with a plate of beautiful fish soaked in tomatoes and onions with a side of lightly salted boiled potatoes, excellently pealed and cooked perfectly...not too much...not too little. The burst of flavor was unbelievable. It was better than any 'classy' restaurant i've been to...one could tell that it was made with a lotta love.
After lunch we go out to a small kiosk in the garden right outside work, where me and my colleagues sip a quick coffee before we go back in (this is only ONE of the many cups they have in a day).
The weather was mild (about 24 Degrees). It was a perfect mixture of a cold breeze and a hot sun. Doves literally come right next to my feet looking for food. People all around me, having a drink, a laugh, a conversation...just chillin. Monuments and art galleries all surround me at a close distance.
The people of Portugal are art admirers. They are very liberal and they don't care about other people whatsoever. They are a people that respect others for who they are and they also respect different opinions in all aspects. I got all of this so far in less than a week.
After coffee, i had to leave the embassy again to attend a negotiation at the Ministry of Foreign affairs. I cannot say anything about that, but i can say that it lasted for 10 hours.
After that hectic process, i dined with these powerful people and i had the opportunity of watching them debate extremely sensitive issue while a vast array of fresh seafood was being served on our table right across the beach.
My day ends at 1 am. Hectic. I'm exhausted.
It is only beautiful days like this that make me think about how much time i have wasted, and how many opportunities have passed.
Anyways, ill try to post pictures of the restaurants and foods later on. I hope you enjoyed my description of Lisbon, Portugal. Its truly a very REAL country. I love it.
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Comfort Zone: Hatred, Nostalgia, and Gradual Disappearance. Part (4/4)
I apologize for this next post you are going to read, but this time…it’s not a parody. It might obviously show my anger. But, the amount of loved ones i have seen go through the previous phases is unbelievable. No matter how different these people are.
The solution to your problem is going to be all a conclusion of MINE. No self help jargon.
Ready?
By this time, dear reader, if you have read this for anything other than entertainment purposes, then I'm very angry at you. You have just proven to, and to yourself, how desperate you are.
Here you are being ignorant. That’s all. You are wasting valuable time on finding a so-called soulmate when you should be looking for your next adventure. What’s so beautiful about a relationship is that you DO NOT completely know the person and you seem to find out something new every single day…. whether good or bad. You can’t use the I KNOW HIM/HER card…and that’s the beauty of it.
If you are a person who thinks that another human being deserves to take control of your life, then you are nothing but another unproductive space and time waster.
Yes, we all fall in love. But what type of love causes you NOTHING but pain. True, all relationships have ups and downs…but really…when you’re always down…then what’s the point?
What are YOU getting out of this? Are YOU learning anything? Are YOU becoming a better person, a more productive human, while being with your partner? Do you wake up every morning saying “Thank God I have him/her in my life to bring out the best in me”? If not, then I'm sorry. You are nothing but a person who is making excuses to STAY IN YOUR COMFORT ZONE. That’s the worst thing anyone could every do…because that’s where your life stops. You should constantly be looking for things that build your character and your personality, not break them. Also, you should be pursuing lessons from your mistakes instead of repeating them everyday.
This is to all my loved ones who are beautiful, intelligent and amazing. Knowing their purest spirits has always made me think that they DO NOT deserve any sort of pain. Especially not self inflicted pain. Stop wasting your time. You are not being humble by forgetting yourself in this situation; you are only blindly digging deeper into your own hole.
The Comfort Zone: Hatred, Nostalgia, and Gradual Disappearance. Part(3/4)
Hello again, let’s move on to the first phase without wasting time.
Phase 1: Hatred
The phase of Hatred explains itself. Here, you will face so much hatred towards your ex to the extent that it will turn itself into a sort of false power. It will make you feel stronger, you will not miss him/her, you will hardly ever think about him/her in a way other than evil. Your ex hurt you, humiliated you, degraded you…broke you….and now you completely realize it, and its all clear.
What you don’t realize is what’s coming next. The only thing you can do is distract yourself a lot in this phase and keep yourself away from any “I’m strong without you” types of phone calls or texts.
Avoid communication whatsoever, because this false power you have is just you blocking you pain. It is not real, and you are very hurt….and that’s ok.
Phase 2: Nostalgia
This is the most important phase in my self-help series. It is the hardest and the most painful, but again, it is all in your hands. You can make the best of it. You can do it. Just Do It. (I'm sorry Nike, but I couldn’t be more original)
I say that Phase 2 is the hardest because if your ex was a drug, then this is where you start to suffer withdrawal symptoms. Assuming that the whole time you and your ex were in a relationship, your body was secreting a sort of “love hormone” which your body adapted to getting a dose of everyday. This hormone does not have anything to do with whether your relationship is good or bad, it simply excretes the hormone just because your ex was there. You got used to having them around in your life. He/She became a part of your life, your blood..
Imagine that drug being taken away from you all of a sudden, what would happen?
You will experience depression, crying at the most unconventional times, temporary eating disorders…etc. All you need to do here is wait it out. PLEASE BE WARNED: going back to your ex will not fix this, you are broken and only you can put yourself back. You were born alone, and you can make it alone.
Additionally, this is the part where your ‘sanity’ after HATRED comes back. You start to remember the good times more often than the bad times. You start to remember how your ex used to make you laugh and blush and turn your stomach upside down. To try to distract yourself, just remember that nobody should have the right to that amount of power over you, but you. You have to start focusing on the life you have (as the author I'm thinking: That’s if you every had a life. Haha.) .
Phase 3: Gradual Disappearance
This Phase happens unconsciously. This is where your body, as strong as it is, starts to heal itself; and this is where your mind starts to pick its pieces up, and puts itself back together. Some mornings, you will wake up with your ex on your mind, but the point of this phase is that you’ve made peace with it. Other mornings, you will wake up and remember that you that you did not remember you ex today…
And that’s where you start to heal.
__
Wow. If you’re still reading to this point, then there is something wrong with you. I have no PhD in psychology, nor do I have any sort of authority or experience for you to be reading my version of ‘self-help’; but if you still find this interesting, keep reading to the solution…may God be with you my child.
Please move on to the next and final post.
The Comfort Zone: Hatred, Nostalgia, and Gradual Disappearance. Part(2/4)
So, now you have left him/her. You feel strong and confident. But still…this is only the beginning.
Of course you’re kinda shook up. You’ve been with you’re partner for ‘a minimum of 2 years’… every day you guys have spent with each other is written on every single cell that runs in your blood. Every breath you take spells out the 3 to 10 letters that make up his/her name.
You feel good…but it’s still…lonely…empty. This is where I come in.
My solution is aimed at people who have been in a relationship which they were not given what they deserve, but settle for less anyways because they fear the process stepping out of THE COMFORT ZONE. The Comfort Zone here is what we all have to step out of if it includes any sort of abuse. You should not be scared, you should grow a pair and experience the next adventures you’re supposed to face.
In the beginning, I start with a theory.
My theory—cuz you gotta have one— predicts that you will experience 3 phases:
1. Hatred
2. Nostalgia
3. Gradual Disappearance
Before I start explaining these three phases [building suspense], I must stress on how important it is for you to understand that there is NO time limit for these. Every person has a different healing process. Some heal fast; others heal slowly [duh – don’t you just love the obvious ‘wise’ statements?].
In addition, make sure that it is YOU who dumped your partner and not the other way around [like it makes a difference—random rules are the best!].
After I explain the three phases in as much detail as I can, we will proceed to the possible solution(s) at the end of this multi-parted post [haha].
Additionally, if you do not know what the 3 phase titles mean, please check them in the dictionary before you keep reading. I warn you they are the essential part of this ‘program’ [speak to your readers like they’re idiots, the world is full of masochists]
Now, let’s start with the phases – please proceed to the next post
The Comfort Zone: Hatred, Nostalgia, and Gradual Disappearance. Part(1/4)
This post is dedicated to the era of self-help. It is somehow a parody of the amount of …OBVIOUSNESS… in these books, as well as an eye opener, hopefully, to many of my loved ones.
What I mean by the concept of self-help is not your everyday economic/Gandhian concept of self-help [Google it if you have no idea what I am talking about]; it’s the ‘self-help’ section you find in any bookstore. Why Men Marry Bitches, Eat Pray Love, The Secret, and Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams are a couple of examples of what you’ll find in this section.
Since these are a part of a growing industry which feed on low-self esteem, depression and hypochondria, I thought to myself…why not give it a go?! It could be fun…writing advice on how one can ‘help’ one’s self…trying to make assumptions your reader will feel familiar with…it’s pretty interesting.
P.S I’m not dissing any of these books so don’t sue me. I am merely trying to imitate their genre in an amateur manner…which is more fun…and also HILARIOUS.
Before I start with my very own self help series on romantic relationships, which is of course everyone’s favorite, I have to lay down my assumptions. If, however, any reader seems to not ‘familiarize’ [usage of rarely used words is a must – might be turned into familiarization later on] with these assumptions… please do not stop reading…you might use it to laugh at other people.
Assumptions:
- 1. You have been with a person for a long time – minimum of 3 years.
- 2. You are not married.
- 3. Every time someone asks/asked you about this relationship, you answered: ”It’s Complicated”.
- 4. The relationship is constantly On and Off.
- 5. You have no idea where it is going.
- 6. You have no idea if it is serious or not.
- 7. You call this relationship ‘special’ or ‘unique’ instead of chaotic.
- 8. You keep giving your partner excuses…in everything. For example: “But, he punched you” – You look at you best friend straight in the eye [with your black eye] and answer: “Nooo, it’s not like that. He wanted to slap me but got confused”. – of course, this is an extreme example…but you know what I’m talking about.
- 9. Every single day, your partner tells you about a lie he told you a long time ago. Example: “You remember when I told you your eyes were sparkling on our first date? [giggles] I was totally lying I just wanted to get laid. So weird how we ended up here eh?”
- 10You always seem to use “but, he loves/cares about/likes me”, “but we’ve been together for so long”, “he’s different, I know him”.
- 11You often end up blaming yourself for everything.
- 12This post is for people who have actually found the strength to leave their ‘bad’ partners.
So these are my 12 assumptions [The number has to be awkward and random for the readers to remember – like 12…wtf]. If you are in the zone of familiarization [I told you I’d use it!], keep reading.
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