Readers. im sorry i wont continue my previous posts, but in retrospect...2011 has been a memorable year..in the past few days, "memorable" has developed into a word that can be defined as both a negative and a positive phenomenon.. you choose.
so im dumb...i made a mistake right before my internship to Portugal...and according to some people it was an extremely big one. So lets say i made a BIG mistake, just to be politically correct. I put my future, my education and my life in jeopardy, and i DO NOT deny or justify any of it (just to be clear). I dont know if ill be fit to live after tonight, but im writing this because that's what i do....i write.
I write when im at any type of extreme. Whether emotionally (happy, sad, scared, angry...etc)....or physically ( i think you know what i mean). Additionally, I dont know if its the time to think about this at the moment, but my mistake is making me thing of a lot of random things so please bear with me.
Here goes.
Our society is not very understanding when it comes to mistakes. Many forget the fact that humans were made imperfect, whether they make big or small mistakes is all relative. For the purpose of this post, i'll be substituting the term "mistakes" into "human mistakes" to remind you that im human, as are you, and every other being on Earth: Thus, mistakes are not wrong...and making them is inevitable. Because, this is the way we were made, and if it was wrong...then something is terribly wrong with the God we belive in if He made anything to be any less than right.
So basically, to put it in simpler terms, when a child is born into our society (poor child)...they look at that innocent face of his/hers...and leave no room for that innocence to fade every once in a while...they expect the child to be static, unchanging, untouched, sacred.... What's ironic is that our society fears making human mistakes because of the other humans, who are also human mistake makers, that might....well, for lack of better terms....talk. So, when you make a mistake, all of your achievements, all of your ambitions, and all of your earnings.....are all either gone or taken away because of that lousy, human mistake. All the good stuff is gone...it doesn't count anymore, because you my friend, like I, made a human mistake.
My favorite part of this society is that throughout living in this perfect bubble of hidden imperfections, they justify their endless judgements by playing the religion card. I should be crying right now, but i swear i'm laughing.....im laughing at them. Anyways..i'm typing this post, and i simultaneously cringe as i think of the religion card.
The religion card im talking about, my dear readers, is the most non-credible card you can use (its like when you use google as a reference for research..not credible). However, it is somehow the strongest because when you make a human mistake...you have somehow defied God. The contradiction here is that if the people pointing their fingers at you make the same human mistake, they justify it by saying that God created humans imperfect...we were meant to make mistakes.
I dont know if i can connect this to any sort of economics, or politics....or anything of the sort. But dear reader, do you think that with so much contradiction in such a small society....we will ever get anywhere. How will we be able to solve our problems, when we're too busy pointing out other people's problems? How will be able to solve THE ROOT of all our problems, when we wont even admit our own? Finally, how will we ever learn from our human mistakes...if we're not allowed to make them, if we're not allowed to embrace and love them?
Wait. I thought i was gonna end at the point but...
I just remembered another thing about the religion card.....my questions is, since we're all so keen and loyal to our religion, is their ANY passage that somehow allows men to make the same mistakes as women and not face any consequences? Does our society know that God will not look at our gender as he sorts us in Heaven or Hell?
what type of God judges based on gender? what type of God has different rules for two genders of his own creations? what type of imperfect God are we dealing with here?
Im sorry i dont believe in that God. The God i know is perfect, and He is the only one who has the right to judge us. He would have never created two genders if he did not make sure they were treated the same....judged equally.
So basically,
We're not allowed to make human mistakes
We're not allowed to be human
and..
We're not allowed to be women.
Do you know how many problems those last prohibitions have caused us in the past eras?
Look into history and find out how ungrateful, contradictory, disrespectful, dishonest and blind our society is.
I'm not saying im a woman and i want equal rights blah blah blah....thats all crap. I dont mind living in a patriarchal society, i adapted. Im just saying that people should understand that rights that were given to all mankind -- or womankind, to all feminists out there. LOL. And when i say rights, i don't mean rights as in the codified human rights we all know, i think those are also relative....im just saying we should all have the right to make mistakes, where ever and what ever we are, no matter how big they are, because we were made to do them...we were made to learn from them....and we were made to build ourselves, our characters and our personalities by making them.
Im sorry, but i cant say anything other than... this sucks.
Wish me luck. If ill live till tonight, ill keep you posted.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Turning Point. Part (2/2)
Knowing me by now, dear readers, through my posts in this blog...i don't like routine. I wanted to do something drastic, and i guess...i did. Other than the previous 'activities' i was engaged in, i wanted to leave to Portugal with a memorable step i seek to take.
that's where Men of the UAE came. The Men of the UAE showcase was yet again, another turning point i CHOSE to make in 2011. It was a result of an idea i had two years ago while i was sitting in my best friend's room. Having a passion for observing men in general, and having found a new passion for sucky photography, i asked her: "why don't i take pictures of men?".
yes, it started as a dirty and sarcastic questions, and turned into a showcase of 19 Men of the UAE on the 28th and 29th of March. I got to the the world -- or the people that came -- about my obsession for men in a diplomatic way. LOL.
the MUAE showcase was a mesh of my new 'self' and my new views on others. I can say that i have proudly reached a point in life where i regret nothing i have done in life, for those 'mistakes' are what make me human...and they are what make me who i am now.
I did not seek calling myself an artist, nor a photographer, i just wanted to put my old passion and my new passion -- writing and photography -- together, to create a bit of magic. To my luck, i met a communicator...now a good friend... and i see her as my personal angel. I pitched her the idea of how i want to portray our men in a different way. Other than their attractive physique, i wanted people to feel the energy i feel when a man of the UAE passes by...those chills down my spine... that music in my ears as i hear his 'kandoora' (traditional attire)...and oh that mesmerizing scent resulting from the half bottle of perfume he has sprayed on.
Other than that, our men have such a diversity among them that i hardly see anywhere else in the world. You have your corporate slaves, your fathers, your comedians, your fishermen, your bedouins, your protectors, your fathers, your artists...all compiled into what we know as a small population that is 'only 9% of the UAE'.
Oh shit, i forgot my laptop charger. Ill complete this post when im out of this coffee shop. If i dont...then im an ass. Im sorry
but im just gonna end with this. the point of my turning point is that i got to a point where i allowed my ego and my anger to mate....and i called that bastard: art. This is how i got to the point where now i know that i want to be an artist bum. It free. It real. and i get to say whatever i want...and people will say: it's ok, she's an artist...she's deep, and any comment she gives us...-even if its bullshit --....is inspiring.
Turning Point. Part (1/2)
Readers. 2011 is where i have experienced a new beginning. I'm 20, yet somehow i feel born again.
Hearts of steel
Art
Character Building
Resistance
Words that will always remind me of this turning point.
A conclusion resulting from endless conclusions.
In 7 days, i will be leaving to Portugal for two months. Alone.
After about 4 months of endless work, noises...experiences, im sitting here at a coffee shop. Alone.
This leaves me wondering about the choices i want to make. Do i want those endless noises? do i want all of those people around me? or do i want that that peaceful lifestyle, noise free, experience free.
This is what my turning point was all about.
I started my last junior semester at university with a job at the radio, a job at university and hard courses to look forward to....now, the semester has ended, and somehow, people are calling me an 'artist'. Next year i am a senior, an artist, a woman, and a complete human.
How i got to these conclusions, one would think, are all a blur. But no. I remember each and every moment.
Being the lazy bastard i am, i'm surprised at what i've done --not accomplished, but done.
in the beginning, I trained in the Arab Media world to become a radio presenter. It was all a lie, i knew that the moment i started. They needed me to lie...and all i did was 'train'. It is amazing what these people do to further inflate the bubble we already live in. I hate that bubble. It makes me lazier. Yet, i cannot pop it, for i have no idea what to do after it has been popped...yet. Unfortunately, that's what most of the people here strive to do. Instead of trying to live in the real world, we water our materialism until we become monsters. It is only in a very small community, where the real world is addressed.
this is one post i am finding so hard to write because i literally feel nothing. I usually write when i am feeling something. Whether anger, happiness, disgust, or shame. At some point during my training in the media world, i knew i wanted to be a part of that community,,,the community outside the media. Fuckers. Yet, one thing i was afraid of is if i left them, i would be called a quitter. Further in time...when two months passed, I quit. I understood that these are not people i work with. They are animals. Animals of the media world, wanting to turn us 'commoners' into animals just like them. So, i left to pursue something else.
Throughout my training in the media, i was also really busy working to get an internship somewhere far away. That's how Portugal stepped into my life. Since the semester started, I've been writing, sending and receiving letters back and forth to get an internship --- which was one thing that surprises me... i actually filled out application forms, ew; and worked with lazy, disorganized and not punctual people, double ew, to get something I WANTED done --- alone. Away, alone, no one...just me.
Being the youngest in my family, im relatively spoilt. This is why 2011 was a test i bestowed upon myself to see how far i can go.
Go to my next post if u wanna complete reading this crappy, very narcissistic, very egotistical, disorganized post of mine.
Hearts of steel
Art
Character Building
Resistance
Words that will always remind me of this turning point.
A conclusion resulting from endless conclusions.
In 7 days, i will be leaving to Portugal for two months. Alone.
After about 4 months of endless work, noises...experiences, im sitting here at a coffee shop. Alone.
This leaves me wondering about the choices i want to make. Do i want those endless noises? do i want all of those people around me? or do i want that that peaceful lifestyle, noise free, experience free.
This is what my turning point was all about.
I started my last junior semester at university with a job at the radio, a job at university and hard courses to look forward to....now, the semester has ended, and somehow, people are calling me an 'artist'. Next year i am a senior, an artist, a woman, and a complete human.
How i got to these conclusions, one would think, are all a blur. But no. I remember each and every moment.
Being the lazy bastard i am, i'm surprised at what i've done --not accomplished, but done.
in the beginning, I trained in the Arab Media world to become a radio presenter. It was all a lie, i knew that the moment i started. They needed me to lie...and all i did was 'train'. It is amazing what these people do to further inflate the bubble we already live in. I hate that bubble. It makes me lazier. Yet, i cannot pop it, for i have no idea what to do after it has been popped...yet. Unfortunately, that's what most of the people here strive to do. Instead of trying to live in the real world, we water our materialism until we become monsters. It is only in a very small community, where the real world is addressed.
this is one post i am finding so hard to write because i literally feel nothing. I usually write when i am feeling something. Whether anger, happiness, disgust, or shame. At some point during my training in the media world, i knew i wanted to be a part of that community,,,the community outside the media. Fuckers. Yet, one thing i was afraid of is if i left them, i would be called a quitter. Further in time...when two months passed, I quit. I understood that these are not people i work with. They are animals. Animals of the media world, wanting to turn us 'commoners' into animals just like them. So, i left to pursue something else.
Throughout my training in the media, i was also really busy working to get an internship somewhere far away. That's how Portugal stepped into my life. Since the semester started, I've been writing, sending and receiving letters back and forth to get an internship --- which was one thing that surprises me... i actually filled out application forms, ew; and worked with lazy, disorganized and not punctual people, double ew, to get something I WANTED done --- alone. Away, alone, no one...just me.
Being the youngest in my family, im relatively spoilt. This is why 2011 was a test i bestowed upon myself to see how far i can go.
Go to my next post if u wanna complete reading this crappy, very narcissistic, very egotistical, disorganized post of mine.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The War on Dynamism
This is a post for all my critics.
My writing is my baby, and i want to raise it well.
So criticize away! I seriously don't like compliments...the last thing i need is for my ego to be fed.
Break me as much as you can, so i can rebuild and reboot as much as i can.
BUT
One thing i noticed from my very few first readers was that they wanted a 'certain topic'. Basically, there is no certain topic...and it seems to be all over the place.
well, that's great! that's EXACTLY what i want.
Yes, as an anarchist -- at heart -- i should respect the concept of specialization...in everything. That's the only way the world can grow...yet i think what is even more beautiful than specialization is dynamism.
Let's put the economy and all of that aside. I am talking about people. Personally, i am interesting in about everything in life...as long as it's interesting. Give me video games, art, literature, fishing, skydiving, writing, food, music, science, math.....each of these make equally important parts of this world and they all complete each other.
I don't know... for some reason i like being all over the place. I understand there are advantages and disadvantages to this, but that's just me....i could improve or not...that's up to the what's ahead. For now, i thank my readers for commenting....but i just want to assure all of you that i mean to be all over the place. Please do not take it as a weakness. It is just pure entertainment.
I don't like being narrowed down....limited. i don't like taking sides...i like watching the big picture. I simply loooove thinking about everything because it is the only think that keeps me active and awake!
I know that if i simply narrow myself down, then my writing will slowly die....and my love for it will perish. All i want to get from this blog is to see my readers entertained and the ONLY thing i want this blog to persuade them to do is to keep an open mind and to take a break from the outside world.
In life, i understand that sometimes one is compelled to be either black or white. But, that does not mean that the shades of grey that exist in your mind have to disappear.
That is exactly what hobbies and talents are for...to keep you as far away from the outside world as possible. God has given us minds not in order to limit us, but to make our imaginations go wild....He has given us this power in order for us to go to the furthest paths in search of His truth, His greatness, His knowledge and His power. The outside world should not be allowed to control us. We do not ALWAYS have to 'pick one topic'. We were given the power to control our minds, and i'm telling you when we reach to the level of complete control...then we should know we have accomplished something. It is very easy telling people what to think....but the important thing is how we CHOOSE to think.
All in all, yes....i respect specialization. But still, when it comes to your spare time...your blog....your hobby...be everywhere simultaneously... and believe me...no drug in the world can give you the same high as dynamism.
My writing is my baby, and i want to raise it well.
So criticize away! I seriously don't like compliments...the last thing i need is for my ego to be fed.
Break me as much as you can, so i can rebuild and reboot as much as i can.
BUT
One thing i noticed from my very few first readers was that they wanted a 'certain topic'. Basically, there is no certain topic...and it seems to be all over the place.
well, that's great! that's EXACTLY what i want.
Yes, as an anarchist -- at heart -- i should respect the concept of specialization...in everything. That's the only way the world can grow...yet i think what is even more beautiful than specialization is dynamism.
Let's put the economy and all of that aside. I am talking about people. Personally, i am interesting in about everything in life...as long as it's interesting. Give me video games, art, literature, fishing, skydiving, writing, food, music, science, math.....each of these make equally important parts of this world and they all complete each other.
I don't know... for some reason i like being all over the place. I understand there are advantages and disadvantages to this, but that's just me....i could improve or not...that's up to the what's ahead. For now, i thank my readers for commenting....but i just want to assure all of you that i mean to be all over the place. Please do not take it as a weakness. It is just pure entertainment.
I don't like being narrowed down....limited. i don't like taking sides...i like watching the big picture. I simply loooove thinking about everything because it is the only think that keeps me active and awake!
I know that if i simply narrow myself down, then my writing will slowly die....and my love for it will perish. All i want to get from this blog is to see my readers entertained and the ONLY thing i want this blog to persuade them to do is to keep an open mind and to take a break from the outside world.
In life, i understand that sometimes one is compelled to be either black or white. But, that does not mean that the shades of grey that exist in your mind have to disappear.
That is exactly what hobbies and talents are for...to keep you as far away from the outside world as possible. God has given us minds not in order to limit us, but to make our imaginations go wild....He has given us this power in order for us to go to the furthest paths in search of His truth, His greatness, His knowledge and His power. The outside world should not be allowed to control us. We do not ALWAYS have to 'pick one topic'. We were given the power to control our minds, and i'm telling you when we reach to the level of complete control...then we should know we have accomplished something. It is very easy telling people what to think....but the important thing is how we CHOOSE to think.
All in all, yes....i respect specialization. But still, when it comes to your spare time...your blog....your hobby...be everywhere simultaneously... and believe me...no drug in the world can give you the same high as dynamism.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
The Only Woman I Would Marry, My mother.
Mothers. What's so special about them?
I wonder how it is around the world, how different all the mothers are. Yet, anywhere around the world [hopefully], she given such a special place. Why?
I don't think its only because she popped us out of her womb. I'm sure there is something else.
Mothers are unique beings. They know every single point that pisses you off, they know were to click if they want to criticize you and make your blood pressure run through the roof, they know how to break you apart when they publicly humiliate you, they boss you around just because they claim that they 'care'.
Again, why are they so special?
Well here it is...i hope after this post, everyone will know why a mother deserves her 'job title'.
A mother is a person that has the guts to take responsibility of having another life grow inside of her without expecting any gratitude. As that person grows within her, she gets fat, hormonal, moody, heavy, gassy, and any other crappy physical status one can think of. But still, she makes everyday seem like a blessing when she just looks at her belly, pats it gently, and smiles at her unborn child.
A mother is an awkward being who has complete control on our feelings. She does not really need to say anything, but with any certain facial expression, she can make us understand her pride, her disappointment, her wisdom, her happiness, her anger, and most of all...her motherhood. She's the pro when it comes to mind control.
A mother is a woman that endures all sorts of mental, physical and spiritual pain....but not for herself. She endures it for the people around her. Her selflessness is an indescribable characteristic which we will never understand, and which will always be an irritating mystery to us. Her goals are almost always dedicated to others, and when she achieves them, she is still not satisfied. She wants more. She wants more goals for other people....namely, her children.
I mean...she could've gotten an abortion... She could've put us in an orphanage...We could've managed alone....right?
Well...yeah i guess...
I guess i could've managed those sleepless nights, where my fever would spike so high i would actually hallucinate...all alone.
I guess i could've built my own personality, learned my values, my manners...all alone.
I guess i could've washed my face, brushed my teeth and combed my hair... all alone.
I guess i could've driven myself to school every single morning, and sang myself a lullaby while coming back from school...all alone.
You see...we can do all of that...all alone.
But the thing is, she is a mother because she is literally always there. She is always there even when we cannot stand her being there. Our first step, first word, first swear word (i personally had to add that), our first mistake, our many other mistakes..
She is the first woman one loves before thinking of one's own gender, ones own sexuality and all that bullshit that comes later on. The moment God allowed our souls into our bodies, her scent, her smile and her arms were all there. She should've hated us...for all the pain she endured, endures and will always endure....she should just give up. But, she's just like an addict that keeps coming back for more.
Yes, we have rehab centers for alcoholics, junkies, psychologically disoriented people....yet mothers have no place to go back to for curing their addiction to their children. Im telling you, they just keep coming back for more disappointment, more pain, more fights, more heartbreak... they are unbelievable. simply unbelievable.
Even more irritating is the fact that they don't really have incentive to do all of this, nor do they ask for any gratitude. All they say is -- and i'm quoting my mom here -- " As long as He [God] knows, i am totally fine". While saying that, she breathes deeply, looks up at the empty sky and grins. SO PISSING OFF!! You just sit there...confused...WHY WOULD GOD PUT YOU THROUGH THIS MISERY?! But, i guess only mothers know what the answer to that would be.
Anyways,
this is for the only woman i would ever marry,
this is for my mother.
My queen, my food, my Earth, my education, my melody, my love, my friend, my personality.
Please stop irritating me with your love, and showering me with your care. It's disgusting how I have nothing to offer you and i hate it.
I wonder how it is around the world, how different all the mothers are. Yet, anywhere around the world [hopefully], she given such a special place. Why?
I don't think its only because she popped us out of her womb. I'm sure there is something else.
Mothers are unique beings. They know every single point that pisses you off, they know were to click if they want to criticize you and make your blood pressure run through the roof, they know how to break you apart when they publicly humiliate you, they boss you around just because they claim that they 'care'.
Again, why are they so special?
Well here it is...i hope after this post, everyone will know why a mother deserves her 'job title'.
A mother is a person that has the guts to take responsibility of having another life grow inside of her without expecting any gratitude. As that person grows within her, she gets fat, hormonal, moody, heavy, gassy, and any other crappy physical status one can think of. But still, she makes everyday seem like a blessing when she just looks at her belly, pats it gently, and smiles at her unborn child.
A mother is an awkward being who has complete control on our feelings. She does not really need to say anything, but with any certain facial expression, she can make us understand her pride, her disappointment, her wisdom, her happiness, her anger, and most of all...her motherhood. She's the pro when it comes to mind control.
A mother is a woman that endures all sorts of mental, physical and spiritual pain....but not for herself. She endures it for the people around her. Her selflessness is an indescribable characteristic which we will never understand, and which will always be an irritating mystery to us. Her goals are almost always dedicated to others, and when she achieves them, she is still not satisfied. She wants more. She wants more goals for other people....namely, her children.
I mean...she could've gotten an abortion... She could've put us in an orphanage...We could've managed alone....right?
Well...yeah i guess...
I guess i could've managed those sleepless nights, where my fever would spike so high i would actually hallucinate...all alone.
I guess i could've built my own personality, learned my values, my manners...all alone.
I guess i could've washed my face, brushed my teeth and combed my hair... all alone.
I guess i could've driven myself to school every single morning, and sang myself a lullaby while coming back from school...all alone.
You see...we can do all of that...all alone.
But the thing is, she is a mother because she is literally always there. She is always there even when we cannot stand her being there. Our first step, first word, first swear word (i personally had to add that), our first mistake, our many other mistakes..
She is the first woman one loves before thinking of one's own gender, ones own sexuality and all that bullshit that comes later on. The moment God allowed our souls into our bodies, her scent, her smile and her arms were all there. She should've hated us...for all the pain she endured, endures and will always endure....she should just give up. But, she's just like an addict that keeps coming back for more.
Yes, we have rehab centers for alcoholics, junkies, psychologically disoriented people....yet mothers have no place to go back to for curing their addiction to their children. Im telling you, they just keep coming back for more disappointment, more pain, more fights, more heartbreak... they are unbelievable. simply unbelievable.
Even more irritating is the fact that they don't really have incentive to do all of this, nor do they ask for any gratitude. All they say is -- and i'm quoting my mom here -- " As long as He [God] knows, i am totally fine". While saying that, she breathes deeply, looks up at the empty sky and grins. SO PISSING OFF!! You just sit there...confused...WHY WOULD GOD PUT YOU THROUGH THIS MISERY?! But, i guess only mothers know what the answer to that would be.
Anyways,
this is for the only woman i would ever marry,
this is for my mother.
My queen, my food, my Earth, my education, my melody, my love, my friend, my personality.
Please stop irritating me with your love, and showering me with your care. It's disgusting how I have nothing to offer you and i hate it.
To My Dear Bahrain, From a Worthless Lover
To my Bahrain,
All my life, i've known that 'half' of my blood contained your name on it. I never liked you in the beginning because my other 'half' [UAE] has blinded me with its physical beauty. I always underestimated your inner beauty, the knowledge you possessed, and the smile you always had the ability to put on my face.
I obnoxiously disregarded the fact that you raised my mother and father, i forgot how you taught them how to be Bahraini at heart all the time....and i forgot how perfect that is.
The people who you raised -- the Bahrainis -- are the people the whole Gulf knew were the best. We all knew how your people held your name high with their manners, their kindness, their humor, and their spirit. They have no 'fake' in their dictionaries, and they do not care whether their clothes cost a dime or a million, as long as they held their heads high with your name in their hearts.
You welcomed me every second i maligned you...every moment i looked down upon you, you put me right between your arms. you offered me shelter when even my own have given up on me.
What is happening to you now is out of our reach, and all i can do is regret not being a part of you until now....when you are fading when you are leaving us because these bastards whom you have raised cannot appreciate you. I remember you now when your own people are ruining you, tearing you apart and spilling each other's blood right in front of your eyes. But also, i remember you when i fell on your streets while rollerblading...i remember how you always brought me and my cousins together...i remember the smell of your rain...your aching cold winter weather and your lazy summer morning.
All we can do is pray, and i regret it. All i can do is hear about my cousin's standing outside the their homes, protecting themselves while your forms of authority fail to protect them. My dear kind cousins, who have turned into fighters with weapons in their hands and hatred in their hearts, not knowing how to fight over you...or fight for you......not knowing that by doing this...they slowly kill you.
Over here, we complain because we can afford it. But your people never complained, no matter how many times you let them down....and that shows what you raised them to be.
Now, i have no idea why your younger generation is acting like a bunch of bastards who think they know everything when they don't know shit. They disrespectfully disregard how much their ancestors have worked to build your beauty, they bring shame to the generations who have raised them. They have nothing to offer you, so in turn they slowly ruin you. I hope they all burn in hell. And i hope the people behind them be damned.
I pray any person who had the heart to make your mothers cry, who brought pain to your daughters, who stile the innocence of your sons die a torturous death. I pray they endure the pain they brought to their own people, to you my Bahrain, when they will be judged by Him. Then, my dear Bahrain, only then will you find peace.
I pray for you. I love you. I love your dearly and sincerely.
Yours,
A Bahraini soul stuck in an Emirati body.
All my life, i've known that 'half' of my blood contained your name on it. I never liked you in the beginning because my other 'half' [UAE] has blinded me with its physical beauty. I always underestimated your inner beauty, the knowledge you possessed, and the smile you always had the ability to put on my face.
I obnoxiously disregarded the fact that you raised my mother and father, i forgot how you taught them how to be Bahraini at heart all the time....and i forgot how perfect that is.
The people who you raised -- the Bahrainis -- are the people the whole Gulf knew were the best. We all knew how your people held your name high with their manners, their kindness, their humor, and their spirit. They have no 'fake' in their dictionaries, and they do not care whether their clothes cost a dime or a million, as long as they held their heads high with your name in their hearts.
You welcomed me every second i maligned you...every moment i looked down upon you, you put me right between your arms. you offered me shelter when even my own have given up on me.
What is happening to you now is out of our reach, and all i can do is regret not being a part of you until now....when you are fading when you are leaving us because these bastards whom you have raised cannot appreciate you. I remember you now when your own people are ruining you, tearing you apart and spilling each other's blood right in front of your eyes. But also, i remember you when i fell on your streets while rollerblading...i remember how you always brought me and my cousins together...i remember the smell of your rain...your aching cold winter weather and your lazy summer morning.
All we can do is pray, and i regret it. All i can do is hear about my cousin's standing outside the their homes, protecting themselves while your forms of authority fail to protect them. My dear kind cousins, who have turned into fighters with weapons in their hands and hatred in their hearts, not knowing how to fight over you...or fight for you......not knowing that by doing this...they slowly kill you.
Over here, we complain because we can afford it. But your people never complained, no matter how many times you let them down....and that shows what you raised them to be.
Now, i have no idea why your younger generation is acting like a bunch of bastards who think they know everything when they don't know shit. They disrespectfully disregard how much their ancestors have worked to build your beauty, they bring shame to the generations who have raised them. They have nothing to offer you, so in turn they slowly ruin you. I hope they all burn in hell. And i hope the people behind them be damned.
I pray any person who had the heart to make your mothers cry, who brought pain to your daughters, who stile the innocence of your sons die a torturous death. I pray they endure the pain they brought to their own people, to you my Bahrain, when they will be judged by Him. Then, my dear Bahrain, only then will you find peace.
I pray for you. I love you. I love your dearly and sincerely.
Yours,
A Bahraini soul stuck in an Emirati body.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Civilization in Hell (Part 1/ ?)
So I was thinking…what if we’re all now living in the afterlife. The process of judgment, sorting ‘good’ and ‘bad’ people, and eternal damnation is all over.
This time is like a gazillion years (not human years but divine years) away. What if God puts us—the people in hell — through another test? This is the test where God experiments on the damned. He would like to see whether these pitiful, not dead nor living, sorry excuses for human beings can actually start a civilization and ‘build’ or ‘develop’ hell… of course this is as opposed to how they did not develop Earth.
So, these people do what they do best. They sin. But, this time since they’re put through this test of actually creating their own version of a civilization, they find a way to make use of their ‘sinfulness’. We’re talking lust, wrath, sloth, envy, vanity, gluttony, and greed…all characteristics that now make lots of money, considered very productive, and are used to actually create a sort of destructive economy.
Since these people are self-interested, the only form of conventional ‘good’ that can exist between them is cooperation. This sort of cooperation is a direct result from being self interested, NOT from actually being cooperation (not that they’re not the same, but that’s just my opinion).
This is what I’ve gotten to so far, but it’s nice to just think…what if??
This is just one of my rough ideas and I promise I’ll complete it as soon as I can.
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