Hello again, let’s move on to the first phase without wasting time.
Phase 1: Hatred
The phase of Hatred explains itself. Here, you will face so much hatred towards your ex to the extent that it will turn itself into a sort of false power. It will make you feel stronger, you will not miss him/her, you will hardly ever think about him/her in a way other than evil. Your ex hurt you, humiliated you, degraded you…broke you….and now you completely realize it, and its all clear.
What you don’t realize is what’s coming next. The only thing you can do is distract yourself a lot in this phase and keep yourself away from any “I’m strong without you” types of phone calls or texts.
Avoid communication whatsoever, because this false power you have is just you blocking you pain. It is not real, and you are very hurt….and that’s ok.
Phase 2: Nostalgia
This is the most important phase in my self-help series. It is the hardest and the most painful, but again, it is all in your hands. You can make the best of it. You can do it. Just Do It. (I'm sorry Nike, but I couldn’t be more original)
I say that Phase 2 is the hardest because if your ex was a drug, then this is where you start to suffer withdrawal symptoms. Assuming that the whole time you and your ex were in a relationship, your body was secreting a sort of “love hormone” which your body adapted to getting a dose of everyday. This hormone does not have anything to do with whether your relationship is good or bad, it simply excretes the hormone just because your ex was there. You got used to having them around in your life. He/She became a part of your life, your blood..
Imagine that drug being taken away from you all of a sudden, what would happen?
You will experience depression, crying at the most unconventional times, temporary eating disorders…etc. All you need to do here is wait it out. PLEASE BE WARNED: going back to your ex will not fix this, you are broken and only you can put yourself back. You were born alone, and you can make it alone.
Additionally, this is the part where your ‘sanity’ after HATRED comes back. You start to remember the good times more often than the bad times. You start to remember how your ex used to make you laugh and blush and turn your stomach upside down. To try to distract yourself, just remember that nobody should have the right to that amount of power over you, but you. You have to start focusing on the life you have (as the author I'm thinking: That’s if you every had a life. Haha.) .
Phase 3: Gradual Disappearance
This Phase happens unconsciously. This is where your body, as strong as it is, starts to heal itself; and this is where your mind starts to pick its pieces up, and puts itself back together. Some mornings, you will wake up with your ex on your mind, but the point of this phase is that you’ve made peace with it. Other mornings, you will wake up and remember that you that you did not remember you ex today…
And that’s where you start to heal.
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Wow. If you’re still reading to this point, then there is something wrong with you. I have no PhD in psychology, nor do I have any sort of authority or experience for you to be reading my version of ‘self-help’; but if you still find this interesting, keep reading to the solution…may God be with you my child.
Please move on to the next and final post.
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